EVEN IF... THERE'S STILL PURITY

I really want to appreciate my friend Chichi for giving us a platform to share our stories and encourage others. the topic of virginity or the loss of it is a very sensitive topic for many including myself so I will try as much as possible to organize my words clearly... 

 

I once read a teaching by a man of God about the cycle of sin and he stated profoundly that sin doesn't begin with temptation rather it begins with confidence in the flesh, the "I can handle it" syndrome. Then comes the guilt trip of "I will never do it again" and it goes on and on like that an endless cycle. 

 

Well this clearly represents what happened to me, I had confidence in the flesh. I felt remaining a virgin was as a result of my self control, so I felt I could do a little but not too much, allowing myself to be a kissing specialist, engaging in foreplay, getting smooched here and there, playing at the very edge but not falling over. I also had fears... I told myself that the devil will set me up even if I used protection and I will end up getting pregnant out of wedlock. Well if you are asking if I'm still a virgin the answer is "No" and I will share with you how it all started. 

 

On that fateful day, I was in the "zone" as usual with my new boyfriend. We had been dating for about 3mths and that evening we checked into a hotel to have just a sleep over or so I thought. I had the complete confidence that since nothing happened with the guys I was even more attracted to, then nothing will happen with this one. To cut a long story short, something happened and before I knew it, I was on a journey I didn't plan for, rising and falling, a journey of guilt, condemnation and regret. 

 

I learnt two lessons that day. Lesson number one - if you keep playing at the edge you will fall over. Lesson two - protection works to protect your body not your soul! 

 

By the way I was a tongue speaking, church going, bible teaching but obviously ignorant Christian. I felt God loved me and used me because I was a virgin. So satan told me "you see God can't use you again, he'll take your gifts, calling and destiny and give it to someone else, you have crossed the line blah blah..."

 

The bible in 1 Sam 2v9 says" ... by strength shall no man prevail".  Also, Zech 4v6 says ". .. Not by might nor by power but by My Spirit says the Lord of Hosts". The Holy Spirit started teaching me about repentance and total reliance on God to keep oneself.  He said "I will never leave you nor forsake you..." The emphasis is on "never", so it doesn't matter what you've done or how far you've fallen, His love remains. 

 

So whenever thoughts of regret come, I just simply remember the long list of imperfect people God used and is still using today. And instead of wallowing in self-pity, I rejoice that I'm alive and have a second chance at purity which is neither hinged on self righteousness nor a thin slice of flesh, but on the Holy Spirit. 

 

As an extension of his grace, God sent me a virgin man to marry who is very aware of my past escapades but refused to judge me. So for ladies and gents in my shoes, who feel that they are worse off, I must tell you emphatically that you still have a chance at purity. God doesn't condemn you just go and sin no more and rely on God to help you. I leave you with Romans 5 v19-21:

 

Here it is in a nutshell: Just as one person did it wrong and got us in all this trouble with sin and death, another person did it right and got us out of it. But more than just getting us out of trouble, he got us into life! One man said no to God and put many people in the wrong; one man said yes to God and put many in the right.

^20-21 All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn’t, and doesn’t, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that’s the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life—a life that goes on and on and on, world without end. (MSG translation)

Remain blessed!

Triple O.