……and I get stuck, because I hear so many voices telling me what they think success should mean to me. They say things that imply that success is money, or success is marriage (especially as a young lady), or success is being a mother, having cars, many friends etc. you would be surprised that some people actually measure success by the likes they get on social media.
Now, by the general ‘world’ standard, I am not doing badly…..I graduated first class from the university, went on to be a lawyer from the very demanding Nigerian Law School (with good grades), got a good job, have a pretty good ministry going, some savings, and yea, I’m not bad looking. So, I try….but just when I am trying to feel ‘success-filled’ someone points to my empty ring finger, or the fact that I have not done my masters (this usually goes with ‘what are you waiting for now??!!!’), where my ministry ought to be or why I still live with my parents instead of on my own (like, excuse me, are you not a Nigerian?). And then my I instantly go from 100 to 0 in five seconds…..or make that two seconds.
So, I had to take out time and actually sit to think of what success is to me….because it’s simply one of those things we don’t consciously define for ourselves, and when we fail to do so, the world gives us a definition which our subconscious begins to accept.
And I came to realise that success, to me, is being content in my lane; not lackadaisical, mind you, but content. It is realising that I am not in a competition or rat race with anyone. I do not live my life or measure my success by anyone’s standards. Rather, I take regular inventories of my life and I ask: Am I where God wants me to be right now? Doing what He wants me to be doing right now? Have I impacted lives? Am I better than who I was yesterday? Am I growing? Am I improving and working towards my goals? Am I learning? Am I fulfilling my purpose in life or taking steps towards that?
I ask myself these questions and find inner peace when I know I am just where God wants for me, or step up when I am lagging behind. I try not to beat myself or be too harsh on myself simply because others are ‘better’ than me in one area or the other. I ensure that I am not unfair to me by comparing my weaknesses with another person’s strength, I mean, where’s the equality in that? I find peace in being me. I enjoy my process, and smile at the big picture I am working towards.
Why is it so important to have a definition of success for yourself?
Simple; because if you don’t, you will be tossed around by other people’s definition, and because people are as different as their expectations, which are always changing, you will never find peace nor fulfilment. You will never enjoy where you are; you will always be a rat in their little rat race show.
I’m sure you don’t want that, so I will ask you, what is success to you?
BOLOGI
