Before we go on, is your spouse/man important? YES! In fact, very important, but he is not ALL IMPORTANT. You cannot look to him for total fulfilment and happiness; in fact, putting that much pressure on him is enough in itself to make him fail.
That said, other relationships include family, friends, colleagues, mentors, mentees etc.
Personally, I absolutely love my friends, and somehow, God has blessed me with positively unwell friends; totally insane in a good way. They are a breath of fresh air and I am grateful for them. A good number of them have been in my life long enough, we have shared certain experiences together that keeps our bond.
My family….hmm, they are honestly the people that annoy me the most, and get on my skin the easiest. Yet, they are the ones that know me most; they are literally my Day 1 G’s….well, except my baby brother (yea, he’s a grown man but I just enjoy calling him baby bro. lol). These people are the only ones I can stand and say anywhere would take bullets for me, annoying as they are.
I also have colleagues that make me laugh and basically keep me sane at work when I really just want to scream. And then there are mentors, big sisters, ‘churchiends’ (as in Church friends), acquaintances and all of that.
Why? Because your man is not God, nor is he super human. He cannot satisfy all your relational needs, he cannot understand firsthand what cramps, for example feel like, nor does he have the same boss as you do and so understands his idiosyncrasies; he does look out for you but not in the same exact way your mentors do, nor can he tell those jokes about how your parents use to beat you or how your uncle use to talk like your siblings.
Your man is great and he loves you, but the pressure of wanting him to be everything to you can break him, because he just can’t, and that’s okay. In fact, there is more appreciation of each other when there is a life outside each other. Don’t get me wrong; you are doing life with him, or about to, and this means involving him in your life, but how do you do that when you do not have a life of your own?
Maybe we dig a little deeper, why would you not want to have other relationships? Insecurity? Lack of a life and interests of your own? Low self-esteem? So, why don’t we address the diseases themselves and not beat too much on the symtoms? And if there is a boo who wants to be your all in all and you have no one else, check it, it’s dangerous. Most often than not, he has his own life, friends and interests but doesn’t want you to have yours; does this sound okay to you?
Essentially, balance is key. Don’t have man and neglect all others; neither should you give so much attention to others and neglect man. Variety is beautiful, that’s why God made us different; so, enjoy also, the variety in other relations.
My dear, no be every time man, sometimes, family, friends, colleagues, mentors and even yourself!
I hope with these few points of mine…..lol
Bologi
