Am I still a virgin? Well, I'm neither here nor there...Lol. Is that possible? Let me first take you through memory lane when I was still "Debbie, the naïve girl". Anyone that was close to me will testify about my naivety to sexual matters. This lasted all through my university days till I met "the love of my life" (as he then was), and I became very curious. First I felt I was too rigid in my rules and regulations, so I should at least meet his sexual demands half way so as not to drive him away.
Moreover, so many persons I knew including the spiritual ones had done it, if not all the way at least the fore play. So I began to experiment, starting with kissing, down to all other preambles before sex, it was such a struggle to keep it at just that. Sometimes the evil thought will come to my head; "you've come this far why not just go all the way" but God's mercy kept me so I didn't let go. The Bible text 1 Cor 9:27 kept reoccurring to me during the course of that relationship "I will keep my body under subjection, lest when I have preached to others, I become a cast away". Well, that didn't stop me from my experiments. It was even harder trying to please the man without allowing him penetrate because the guy can like to bring all kinds of bizarre styles, story for another day.
The question now is: Do I regret my actions? Yes! Yes! Yes! You don't want to know how much. Each time I remember that I even kissed that guy I feel like puking. Back then I was almost certain he was going to be my husband so I did not mind doing all those... But was it worth it? Why couldn't we just wait knowing that man is really shortsighted; we really can't tell the outcome of a relationship no matter how well it is going. You can imagine how I felt when I learnt from his ex after I broke up with him that he had given her staphylococcus (how God had saved me from that). I felt like turning the hands of time, wished I had never met him. These regrets wouldn't have been this deep if I hadn't gone intimate with him.
Lessons learnt:
- You can never be too stiff with what belongs to you (virginity), in fact, it belongs to God and He dictates when you can give it.
- If the guy can't wait, he is not yours
- Listen to the voice of God in any relationship
- There's no need to try out what you'll have through out your marriage
- Curiosity can be dangerous It is one of the devil's lies that you need to practice sex to become perfect in marriage. God gave sex as a gift strictly for married couples. He who giveth is able to teacheth thou how to goeth about it. Ask Adam & Eve .
- Fornication includes but it's not limited to penetration, it's accompaniments also.
- He who standeth should take heed lest he falls. If you are still a virgin, hold firm to God's grace.
- If you are not a virgin, the blood of Jesus can make you pure again... make a stern decision to be chaste till marriage.
In conclusion, let me revisit my first question: am I a virgin? Yes I am and I will continue to be by the grace of God because He has instructed me to remain so till I am married. (Any guy wey no like am should go and hug transformer...lol).
DEBORAH
DEBORAH
