Wk 2 , Day 1- Me vs My Family

Hmmmmmmm, Nigerian families amaze me, first you are not allowed to talk to boys; focus on your studies, read your books, graduate, don’t enter a relationship- then on graduation day, next thing is marriage… wait where is the boy supposed to come from? The books??? Smh, seriously it’s amazing... but my own story doesn’t go that way. In fact mine started with, do not marry!!! Strange I know but let me explain.

See my family is full of broken marriages here and there, so the belief now is that it is better not to marry, or if you want to marry wait till your older, like 30. That is after you have had a stable job, accommodation and you can completely fend for yourself. So for me to be discussing marriage, I absolutely don’t know what I am talking about… ‘keep quiet and focus on being better’...

Then we came to the point of ‘you cannot marry a Christian’. My family is predominantly Muslim, so you can imagine; and we still haven’t resolved that issue, we are now in the issue of he isn’t rich enough, he doesn’t befit you, he doesn’t have what he needs to provide for you, if you marry you will be the man, he doesn’t dress well.

It started getting to me, I was starting to get frustrated and angry, at some point I almost said “I no do again”, I was not weak, far from it; but words are seeds and they always harvest, so be careful what you allow people plant in your mind. I began to break and was unhappy, the relationship now seemed tedious until I learnt four secrets; First, have reliable people to talk to, people that have gone through it or people you know will support you. Secondly enjoy your relationship, don’t let the pressures from outside get to you guys. Thirdly, be focused, stand on your conviction don’t waiver, work towards the end goal- marriage. Lastly and the most important pray, if need be add fast and stand on the Word, declare the Word like your life depends on it, because it does.

Let me be honest, it doesn’t matter the form the pressure comes, what you need to know is that there will be pressure and you must not allow it get to you. Rather than allow people give you a cardiac arrest, quickly arrest the situation. Yes you will want to scream, yes you will be tired, yes you will cry but you know what, it’s okay! You can but as you do so, focus your eyes on God. That is the true fight of faith; no matter the pressure, you just know God has done it.

And lest I forget, don’t react to the pressure, rather act on the Word. If you react to the pressure, chances are, you will be acting on emotion and you will definitely make a mistake. Act on the Word.

Bunmi