“You
better do and leave my husband’s house for me,
go to
your own husband’s house”
My
family has always been a support system; I have not been particularly pressured
by family to marry. Although, indirectly I know they desire I introduce someone
to them. I can remember one time after I came back from my service year and
wanted to gist my father about my experience; he was all ears to hear about a
relationship. How did I know? When he mentioned “if there is someone in your
life, tell us, you are old enough” and sincerely that was not even part of the
gist. The most pressure come from outside; relatives, even church members.
From
my normal way of observing, I have noticed that so many ladies face marriage pressure
from family members. There was one I witnessed that even prompted me to begin
to write to single ladies. This lady who is younger than I am was going through
pressure from her family. I witnessed a conversation between she and her mum. “You better do and leave my husband’s house
for me, go to your own husband’s house” her mum said. She replied “I should
go and propose to a man baa?” “No, you
girls should remain in your condition” her mum referred to me and her
daughter (the single ladies). All that kept ringing in my head from that moment
was “condition! …your condition!” This has led the lady to go as far as talking a
guy into a relationship- What a small world! How they never know you know
someone that knows someone… lol. This lady I am talking about was just in her
very early twenties; you can imagine what ladies in their thirties and forties go
through. Trust me most of those married persons that mount pressure on you to
marry don’t have their marriages all figured out.
There
is also a young girl I know of who is barely 19 years old, in her third year at
the university who recently got married. Her reason was that her mum got
married that early too including her elder sister. I definitely pray that her
marriage works out well but I sense pressure there.
Some
of the pressures single ladies go through are self-mounted pressures; our
friends are getting married- “Oh my! When will it be my turn?” you attend a
wedding laughing and dancing and come back crying and brooding. When my best
friend got married, I could swear that her wedding did not put me under any
sort of pressure to marry. Little did I know that I unconsciously heaped
pressure on myself. “Of course I should
be the next”, I imagined. So I just believed that the guy I was dating at
the time was my husband to be. I took all kinds of trash from him and hoped I
could change him to suit my ideal husband. Yimu!
I have realized that everyone has a different destiny, mine is different from
my friend’s. So I should not think everything will happen alike for us.
Remember,
those persons that pressure you to marry will not go in with you to the
marriage, they will leave you to your fate right after your wedding ceremony. Therefore,
you have to determine not to allow the pressure get to you. I draw insight from
the words of Tom Robbins “Stay committed to your decisions but stay
flexible in your approach”. In handling marriage pressure, there are
times you have to be stern and other times to be gentle, there are times to
respond and time to ignore and there is always
a time to pray. Whatever you do, ensure you do not make any decision out of
pressure.
Peace…
BLINKING...
No comments:
Post a Comment