‘EVICTION DATE’

My mum can be really hilarious. On one of her hilarious days, she declared that she was giving all of us ‘eviction dates’ from her husband’s house. What’s more? It doesn’t mean you get to rent your own place, especially for me, the daughter; no! It means I would be evicted from the Alli’s house into the husband’s house. Even more interesting, mine is fast approaching – 14^th November, 2017 (yes, your eviction date is your birthday on a certain year of her choice).

Now, that’s my mother, most mothers are ‘marriage-hungry’, anyways, right? Well, my situation shifted gears one evening when I was being typical: in my room, on my beloved bed, with a book (or movie, can’t remember right now), and my dad comes in, says he wants to talk to me. We go to the parlor, and if you have lived under your parents, you would definitely relate when I say I was racking my poor head for any possible recent wrongs, and then I stopped, jaw-droopingly shocked when my father asked ‘so, are you in a relationship?’ I wasn’t, so I answered in the negative. He went on to ask accompanying questions like ‘why?’ and ‘you know you can talk to us, right?’ And then he capped it up with ‘we just want to know how to direct our prayers. I am not worried, I am just concerned’. Trust me, when your DAD asks these, you know it’s getting real.

Finally, mix that with friends’ parents, aunties, an elderly relative I call grandpa, my grandma, and you are beginning to get my picture. And, I promise you, I’m not even that old!

I do know, however, that it is love and genuine good concern that makes them do this. Agreed, but sometimes, it can be a bit….err….much, not to mention annoying. So, how do I handle this pressure? Especially with my eviction date coming closer….

First, I had to talk to myself and do a little renewing of my mind. I told myself the truth; I do want to get married, and soon too, but I refused to be pressured. I reminded myself that all these family members showing concern for my biological clock would not be the ones to live with that man. I told me that divorce was not an option. I discussed with myself how there really is more to life than marriage and more to me than being someone’s wife, so instead of whining, I better go about enjoying this phase of my life, and doing those things I can do now, while prepping for the next phase. I knew what I wanted, so I knew I had to be patient, and wait wise and strong.

And then, I had a talk with my mum. I reminded her of the fact that all these loving questions could come off as pressures, of course, she doesn’t mean them like that, but they could come off that way. I told her I wanted to marry too, so there was no need for constant reminder. Sometimes I jokingly warned both of them to ‘calm down jor’……and for all the other relatives, I simply tell them that this means their prayer game is not strong enough! (yep, turn the tables and make it about them, with a smile on your face. Lol).

Finally and most importantly, I talk to God. I tell Him the truth about I feel, especially those particular times like these when everyone has a boo they are loving up to, I remind Him that He put the desire in me, and it is a Godly one, so I refuse to be bothered. I ask Him to help me not feel pressured and definitely NOT to get it wrong. I tell Him I want His will, so He should help me, I tell Him to help me know who and when….and then I laugh and tell him to however, give the brother a little shove if he’s just somewhere being slow J….so I don’t end up being homeless after my eviction.

So, dear single lady (and man, cause I know the pressure is not one sided), please, above all else, remember that it be better to wait and marry right than to rush and marry wrong. Divorce is not an option. Some were pressured and are living in regret. No one’s pressure is worth your happiness and fulfilment. Kindly remember your worth.

And finally, don’t just sit there in the name of ‘waiting’! NO!!! Get off that bed and do something, keep busy, build your career/business, improve yourself, grow, stretch, live and enjoy this phase, cause very soon, my darling, you won’t be able to just get up and go see a movie with the girls; you’d need to ask permission from that hubby you’re praying so desperately for……..just ask Chichi ;)

Bologi…