Testing the mic 1-2. Hello everyone *clears throat* Can I have your attention please. You are about to read about my relationship with my "Almost Mr Perfect" and errrr...okay yes! I'm about to write. (getting an introduction is a struggle oh). You know what, permit me to just say, as you read, may God bless you (I know that line is clichè, but manage it biko)
I was in a relationship with this 'Mr. Almost Perfect' I could score him a 9/10 (I'm not giving him 10/10 because he's human and cannot be perfect. So I'll leave it at 9) He was handsome, super romantic, he had a profession to die for, he was a giver e.t.c... However my mind wasn't at peace and I didn't know why. Everything on the obvious was fine, infact very fine but I just never had inner peace. I had a feeling (right now, I will call that the holy spirit) that we were not meant to be together and if we continued something regrettable might happen. Hmmm see confussion, so if I want to break up with him now, what will I say is the reason? Holy spirit, feelings *rolls eyes* During conversations, the moment he mentioned anything about marriage, my heart will beat as fast as a talking drum. I kept on making statements like " so when you get married... or so when I get married..." but he will correct me by saying "When WE get married" In my mind I'll say ehnehn and then scratch that my head that never itches me. I battled with this for a while. Ermm did I mention that his christian game wasn't so strong, as in he was a christian at least he went to church once in a while but not a christian christian like that (I'm sure you get) He wasn't the kind of christian I always wanted to date and eventually get married to but I kept hoping that he would 'change' one day in his walk with God.
Then one day I went to church for a program. I was still in the University and it was a retreat for church workers. while praying, the lady anchoring the prayer session said she had a something to tell a lady but she didnt know who it was. She said there was a lady there that was in a relationship but didn't have inner peace and knew she wasn't meant to remain in that relationship. She added that God told her to tell the person to opt out! and she kept repeating it... Ghenghen! Could that be me? I opened my eyes and stared at her. I stopped praying for some minutes and kept wondering, I didn't know her from Adam and she didn't know me either. Well I'm not the only lady here...I thought. It can be someone else. But the message felt really direct . After minutes of doubting and dodging I just told God that if the message was really for me, I was handing it over to him. I wasn't going to initiate the break up so He should do it in a clean way without heartbreaks and mess.
To cut the story short, we broke up a week later over something really trivial. Was it difficult getting over him? Yes. How difficult...very difficult. It didn't feel good but I had my peace from that day. No talking drum heartbeats, no fear of future occurences etc. So hey! unlike other stories, I didn't get to learn the hard way and I'm so convinced that if we didnt break up then, something really sad would have happened
I pray my story encourages someone to take the bold step in that relationship because I am sure there are people in similar situations. I must add that sometimes, when the guilt of "why did you allow such 'beautiful' relationship to end" tries to set in, I shake it off quickly because I remember I handed it over to God and I didn't have to do anything to end it.
Finally my people, one scripture I love so much is "My thought towards you are of good, not of evil to give you a hope and a future" If God alters a situation in your life or tells you to do something, whether or not you know the reason, whether it feels good or not, whether you see reasons or not, always obey and handover things to him because that way, you can be sure you'll never go wrong.
O. O
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