THE CAR SERIES PT 3- THE DRIVER

For some awkward reasons, I have a special respect for people who drive well. There's just this tingly feeling of excitement in my tummy when I am with or see a good driver...plus I love speed and convoys lol. Good driving to me is not just being able to move an automobile from points A to B. In fact, I feel it is more intellectual than it is physical. It is being able to calculate, anticipate, maneuver, and still be in charge. It is knowing when to increase your speed without over speeding, stopping without screeching and throttling when the car demands. Very importantly, intelligent drivers are alert, know how to read road signs and how to drive accordingly. I could spot a good driver from a planet away and I understand that not everyone has an eye like I do. However, even if you cannot tell at first, time will definitely tell eventually. The question is what do you do when you discover you have gotten into a wrong car? There are many options available:

a) You could manage and hope the driver gets you to your destination safely

b) You could caution him/her and hope  they drive more sensibly

c) You could ask that the ride be brought to an abrupt end irrespective of where you are so you can get down

d) Or you just call it an adventure and sit to the end, hehehehe

Errmmm I do not know about you, but if getting in a car with a bad/reckless driver is considered adventurous and courageous, then I'll be willing to be a coward. Some experiences are not just worth my while, time and definitely not worth my life. 

This is the same with every relationship we get into. Whether it is platonic, romantic, marriage, or just work related relationship, there are always signs you need to watch out for. In my opinion, dating is the safest "place" to do any "driving lesson" or express concerns about the inadequacies and inefficiencies of your boo/bae. It is the best time to talk about your concerns and worries and find out how you can work through or around them.  Any thing that doesn't get corrected at that bridge would become harder to correct on the high way called marriage. There is an Ibo proverb that says "it is very difficult to learn how to use your left hand in old age"...bottom line - start early.

Just like the high way, things hardly get corrected in Marriage, if anything, they are amplified. If he shouted you down when you guys dated, he will probably beat you up when you are married. If she lied constantly during your courtship, dude, she's gan lie about your death one day in marriage. If you have to beg for his/her attention when you dating, then you are in for a very long, miserable marital journey etc. The truth is beyond the public display of your commitment to one another, nothing really happens on or beyond the altar. If anything, people feel free to become who they really are. Courtship is where people put their best foot forward and if his/her foot isn't that great after all, then bear in mind that it is most likely not getting better than that. 

Dating like driving requires the alertness of all your senses. Love is neither blind nor a feeling, it is a decision...one you should make objectively not emotionally or out of sentiments. Almost all the issues in marriages had shown some traces in courtship but someone pushed it aside and probably said "He/She will change". People do change, but not all drivers can be corrected especially if they see nothing wrong with their driving skills. So it is not about them, it is about you,- your security, safety, and sanity

Guess what? The beautiful thing about life is that you can choose to drive yourself. In fact, it takes a good driver to know one. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being your own driver, setting your pace and going at your own speed. If you choose to ride along with someone, please select from an array of trained experienced drivers who will be glad to have you ride along. Life is too precious and too short to manage a ride you know won't end well or feel a certain type of way about. Be strong enough to quit while you can, press the break even if it means screeching. Dating like driving requires the use of your intellect, intuition, experience and good judgement...It is not a joke!

I honestly hope you have the courage to look inwardly, read the signs correctly and act accordingly. Thanks for reading. Have a blessed day.

Cheers!

Adindu Chiagoziem