Today's post was inspired by a recent experience with an Uber driver. So here I was waiting patiently for this Uber ride I had scheduled to arrive. Apparently, I was changing my place of abode within the same town and had a lot of stuff to move. So this guy arrives and we started putting things in the trunk. Before long, we began filing the back seats with my luggage, and guess what, I still had some carry-ons to sit with me at the front seat. When the back seat was half full, the guy's countenance changed o. Ahh, when I realized he seemed overwhelmed, I started trying to be cute and smooth, making small talks about the weather. Omo, the dude just provoke and told me he was not going again o, that my luggage was bad for his car. Like joke, like play, I saw him remove my stuff and take them back to the front door where they had been initially. Lobatan! Trip cancelled, relationship ended, moving on to to greater things. He just left me there practically mouthing - Adon believe it... As painful as that experience was, I learnt a lot of lessons and was grateful for a number of things. At the top of my gratitude list was the fact that he was honest. He did not agree to take me to my destination, only to change his mind midway. He assessed the situation as it affected him and was honest about how he felt, even though it was going to cost him his money. Lack of honesty is one of the reasons why most people get in and out of relationships with a lot of hurts and resentments. The friendship level of any relationship is too key to skip or gloss over. This is where you objectively evaluate a person and decide whether to take things to the next level or not. Being honest is a two way thing. For instance, if I was honest with my self, I should have known that a sedan was not an ideal car for my luggage, an SUV would have been better.
Like every trip, relationships must be started with the end in mind. Your end game determines a lot about your means of getting there, boundaries, sacrifices, philosophies, value system, type of luggage, etc. For this Uber driver, it is not so hard to see that his priority was definitely to ensure his car was in good shape; making money was secondary. What is your endgame? I am yet to see a person who goes to a motor park( http://journalofanewlywed.blogspot.com/2018/02/the-car-series-motor-park-of-dating.html) for going sake, or to know what it felt like to get in a taxi with no specific destination in mind. Unfortunately, people get into relationships "for the fun of it", "to know how it feels", "to just have an experience to share", or "to not be left out". Trust me when I say that relationship is too risky a business to toy with. Like most trips, one wrong turn could result in an accident that could leave you scarred for life.
Packing for a trip is an art. It involves knowing what bag will fit all you have, while remaining within the accepted weight parameter. Having been prevented from traveling and asked to pay for excess luggage one too many times, I have had to learn this art. I am used to transporters asking me to pay for excess luggage, so you can imagine my surprise when I learnt from this Uber driver that payment is not always an option. This is the same with relationships. Everyone comes with one luggage or the other. What amounts to excess luggage is very much dependent on your partner. For the economy class, some local flights in Nigeria peg the accepted weight at 25 kg per traveler, international flights on the other hand will allow two 23 kg bags (46 in total) and a 6 kg carry-on. The same way you are required to read their terms and conditions to understand their policies, you must also read your partner to know what they can or cannot take, what they agree or disagree with. Not everyone will be ready to accommodate your luggage and baggage irrespective of what your are willing to give up...and that is fine.
Luggage in this context refers to a person's background, belief/value system, education, lifestyle et al. Baggage on the other hand are traumatic experiences, disappointments and other negative issues in the past. These are things that you cannot erase or change, but can choose to live without in order to enjoy relationships better. Ba
In summary, before a trip, assess your luggage with the end in mind. Deal with and get rid of excess baggage, “After a bad trip, don't carry your luggage on board the next flight. Stay grounded till you figure out a new way to travel.” (T.F. Hodge)
I celebrate you.
Adindu Chiagoziem
#ItsNeverTooLateToRetraceYourSteps
I celebrate you girl! Thank you for this
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