THE CAR SERIES Pt 1 - "THE MOTOR PARK" OF DATING

So am going to be doing a short series on cars - objectifying cars as they relate to dating and marriage. I am also going to use the opportunity to disclose ten (10) things about me that most of you never knew ( I know you like that one.. lol). Well, for starters I love Cars❤❤❤. When I sought for something ideal to objectify, I didn't need to search for long, automobiles always do it for me. However, my focus today is on "the decision to travel (date)".

Traveling can be fun, whether on short or long trips. However,  the preparatory aspect wears me off. Every trip for me requires a lot of preparation on my part - emotionally and psychologically, especially. I have to take into consideration where I am going to, the distance to be covered, the purpose of my intended trip, how many days I intend to spend on the trip, whether or not there are special weather conditions to prepare for, which will also influence the kind of  travel bag/suitcase I will use, e.t.c.

Let us take an imaginary trip to a typical motor park in Nigeria. Imagine the rowdiness and noise, the conductors beckoning on you to come join their vehicle, some even going as far as wanting to drag your traveling bag from you. Remember that in that same motor park, not everyone is there to embark on a journey; some are outright swindlers, some hawkers of edibles and other necessities, others just layabouts waiting for time to pass.

Interestingly, a) not all cars are going your way, b) Some are not even leaving the park that day, c) Others are broken down and have been parked there for years. The onus, therefore, lies on every passenger to locate a vehicle that is going their way, inquire to make sure the fare is payable, inspect the car to ensure it is road-worthy and choose a seat that guarantees comfort for the duration of the journey. All these do not necessarily guarantee a safe trip, but you know what they say - Do your own bit of saving, and if you drown, at least die knowing you were heading for safety.

Now just imagine the absurdity of going to a motor park clueless and unsure of a specific destination in mind. Imagine a person walking into the park and knowingly joins a car headed for Jalingo but hopes to get off in Lagos. Or another person who fails to read the signs and is surprised that he has sat all day in a car that is broken down and does not leave the park.

The above scenarios might seem ludicrous but that is exactly how some people view and go into dating. Dating is a decision not a stage in life. The same way you do not go to the park because people are going there, you cannot also go into dating because your friends are all in relationships or just because you think you are old enough. Before you decide to date, you must understand where you are going to in life as well as what you want from the relationship. You can't go into relationships hoping to find some direction or deliverance of some sort from financial hardship, emotional issues, family or peer pressure e.t.c.

Along with the decision to date must come the preparedness - emotionally, psychologically and otherwise. Being in a relationship requires maturity. You must be able to make objective decisions free from sentiments and subjectivity. You have to be emotionally sound so you are not swayed into changing your direction or fall prey to "swindlers". If you don not feel ready, please do not let anyone interfere with your singlehood. It is yours to give away when you deem fit.😉

The dating market (motor park) is full of all sorts of people; the idle ones, the touts, the sellers, the draggers, the travelers, etc. Not every traveler is your spec and not all of them are going your way, so you must choose carefully and prayerfully. Some people go into relationships only to end in the wrong destination or stuck in the same spot for years.

I really envy those who have what I call a nomadic approach to traveling - they just get up and go. Sometimes they don't end up stranded. While this attitude might work out regarding traveling strictu sensu, I doubt anyone can have a successful relationship that way.

 It is never too late to retrace your steps. Not every park has a car going your way and not every trip to the park must end in a voyage. Like every traveler, you have to assess the essence of the journey by asking questions such as: is it wise? Is it worth my while? Is it necessary? Is now the best time? What will I accomplish? Is it in my best interest? Does it align with my life goals? Are there better options?

For me, this is one of the questions I had to ask myself before I decided to date a person, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their lives referring to as "daddy?"" Dating is that serious.

I hope you take out time to assess your life and relationship, and have the courage to do the needful.

Have a blessed week.

Adindu Chiagoziem

#ItIsNeverTooLateToRetraceYourSteps