Why do I want to get married? Good question you
may actually want to answer before you get married, because when situations
come, when the devil thinks he can play ping pong with your marriage,
the answer to this question would either save or break your marriage.
How? Wait for The last paragraph and find out...
As
for me, i went through different answers to this question in different
phases of my life. First I wanted to get married simply because I wanted
to... Almost every young girl has in her subconscious a planted
subliminal message that says "you must marry!!!" I don't know about other
parts of the world but in Africa, you are raised learning to cook,
nurture a child (remember your dolls), be responsible as a woman (it
used to upset me that my brothers were outside playing while I had to do
the chores 
) and generally take care of the family.
But
the scales fell from my eyes.... I watched as many marriages in my
family disintegrated. Their was hatred, bitterness, anger and I kept
asking "why did they get married in the first place?" I watched as two
people who said for better or worse, tear each other apart and I said to
myself I'd rather remain single . There was no way I would get married and end
up like them.
Let me add this here, if you do not
know your purpose in every sphere of your life, then I promise you; you
will live a very regrettable life. You will keep trying to but you will
never really get it. You will keep jumping from mistakes to mistakes and
the devil loves it. See sitting here writing this, I understand it now.
My decision to not get married was built in a very faulty foundation:
1. I didn't want to get married from fear
2. I didn't want to get married but I didn't want to be alone so I moved from man to man.
3. I didn't want to get married because of my distorted image of marriage I was yet to learn how beautiful it was
Imagine
the fun day the devil had with me; I was never going to settle down. But interestingly, man after man, I got heartbroken and colder and more
cynical.
Then after a
while I got lonely and wanted to be married because being lonely was too
much to bear, boy was I a confused mess. I mean I had this notion that I
could get married and be with him and if anything goes wrong we could
just sign divorce papers and I could get married again... Thank you
Hollywood ...
Then I met
him, my single idol. Ohhhhhh it was love at first sound, then he ticked
some other boxes I had in my list; good dresser, speaks good English,
drives well, full of pride, corky and though not on my list, had the
potential to be rich and he was also a man of God (
Finally
we broke up and I stayed of relationships entirely. Even when my
mentor, friend and pastor told me to let go and stop nursing the pains, I
refused to listen. See I was back to my second phase I will never get
married but this time, I had purpose, I wasn't jumping from man to man, I
was a little more focused and I was driven by that focus.
So
driven that I didn't notice him. He was there from before law School,
he prayed with me when I couldn't get my fees and when the miracle
happened he helped with all the running around. He made sure I ate after
class, was my shoulder to cry on when things got really bad. He is
kind, gentle and humble; at a time my bestie and I said he was too
nice.
Then we started dating honestly I wasn't
sure if I wanted to get married but I knew he made all the distorted
images I had of marriage fade. But I was still scared because I wondered
if this wasn't how my parents started. So I prayed!!!! And for the
course of one year God spoke and in bits and pieces showing me the purpose
for our marriage.
God has a purpose for everyone
and everything and if you do not know the purpose you won't maximize it.
Why do I want to get married, simple it is God's purpose for me. I have
been in many relationships but none like this. A man that ministers to
me everyday so that I can do what I am meant to do in my ministry. A man
so focused on loving God that it is easy for him to Love me... Truly
God's gift give no sorrow ( don't think it- we dey rack )
I
want to get married because it is a fulfillment for God's purpose in my
life. Not because I don't want to be lonely, not because I am being
pressured by people or myself, not because of who he is financially, not
because he ticks the boxes properly, not because of friends or looks.
But because God says so and when thing gets tricky and the devil rares
his head I remember what God says and it keeps me going till everything
it is sorted out.
Bunmi
Hmmm....interesting piece
ReplyDelete