I MARRIED TO CARRYOUT AN EXPERIMENT... THE END!

This is my story... Very funny I must warn you, and full of a lot of ironies.

So here I was, content with my life- driven, focused, a complete boss-lady...till he came into the picture. From very early, I knew where I was coming from and had an idea where I was going. I might not have had the complete picture but I knew marriage was not part of it. I said it so much, my mother worried I was going to be my own undoing- using my mouth to swear for myself. If only she knew how serious I was and how for once, I didn’t mind this “Shepke” catching me… or so I thought.

Like most of the writers, I didn’t fancy marriage. I had seen a lot of marriages of family and family-friends go bad. I had watched and come to understand the devastating effect of these broken marriages- how they ripped loved ones apart and broke family ties. What hurt me the most was the fact that it also had a negative effect on innocent children. These kids who didn’t ask to be born were not opportune to choose their families, only found themselves in this mess, that left them as the victims.

By the end of high school, 8 out of 10 of my friends had been sexually abused – as a result of seeking solace in the wrong hands while trying to escape from the many family dramas. These and many more contributed to the phobia I had for marriage the hatred I had started developing towards men.

So you now understand why I said my life was content till he came into the picture...At least so I thought From the beginning I knew it was a waste of time. I told him over and over he was going to hurt himself if he decided to tag along. I tried to help him understand that the thought alone of settling down with me was in itself, harmful. I had no regard for men, and the word “submission” was not in my dictionary. What annoyed me more was the fact that he was too calm. I was used to the arrogant ones who I derived joy in humbling. I was an angry person…but he stayed.

He stayed and he prayed…oh, how he prayed. He showered me with so much love…then  I became upset and defensive- Maybe he was pretending… How dare he intend to toy with me… but then he still stayed. He wanted me to know that not all men were Predators and not all marriages were destined to fail- some could be fun. He was persistent…annoyingly consistent. You know what they say 'Dripping water hollows out stone, not through force but through persistence'… and the hollow was gradually being created…then I started to see reason. You see, the Bible says that Wisdom from above when it sees reason, it yields (James 3:17)…so I yielded…I was a wise woman…lol.

Together we grew ourselves. He understood where I was coming from and helped allay my fear. We fed on the right materials- books, tapes, seminars, and marriage counseling, mingled with the right kinds of people – couples with positive energy who knew where they were going with their lives and their marriages…but also importantly, we sat and drafted marriage goals as we felt led…We decided that we were going to minister with our marriage - our marriage was going to be a reference point of hope to the married and yet to be married… and that’s what gave birth to this blog by the way…

We were one year in marriage on the 2^nd of April 2017 and it’s been an amazing journey so far. Marriage is so much fun- my God!. God does not make a mistake I must say. Marriage is God’s idea and only God can help you enjoy it. God has helped us decant all the negativity we used to know about marriage and filled us with fresh ideas, and The Word. They say marriage is hard work, but so is everything else about life. Anything that is of importance to God is also a priority to the devil. Nonetheless, with a man/woman that loves God and you, and a heart that is willing, there’s no mountain you both cannot overcome.

Why did I get married?

I got married to carry out an experiment – Whether there are happy marriages-I have come, I have seen and I can categorically say MARRIAGE IS BEAUTIFUL. Has it been all roses? Nope!. Do we have our differences? You have no idea. But because we know the marriage serves a greater purpose, we are quick to put asides feelings and pride and come back to work things out fast, lest the devil finds a dwelling ground to replicate his many schemes.

With this, we've come to the end of The Singles Series. If you missed the series kindly check my previous posts since February. It was indeed a privilege to have worked with the writers who shared their stories. When I called, they answered, and when they wrote, they spilled it all out…Thanks, guys, you are the best.

I also consider it a complete honor to have gotten the feedback I got from the general public-some people I knew others preferred to be anonymous. I am so encouraged by the fact that many people actually read, meditated, and decided to retrace their steps to lay firm foundations for their future, especially future in marriage. God will help you stay true to your resolve.

I’ll continue my posts on the life of a newlywed, except of course I feel led otherwise. Kindly stay tuned to the blog. In the meantime, remain blessed and have a splendid week.

Cheers!

Adindu Chiagoziem.