WK 7 DAY 2 - WHY DO I WANT TO GET MARRIED?

Hmmmm, why do I really want to get married? When Chichi asked me to write on this I smiled and told her this article will finally force me to answer myself. Marriage as a concept means a lot of things to different people and one of the meanings i nurtured for a long time was "a cage". Yeah!!! Each time I thought of marriage or saw a couple during their wedding all I felt was fear. My emotions would be a mixture of pity and dread. Like " Jesus...this lady is trapped, she now lives under the authority of this man. He dictates her every move and say". I sure as hell didn't envy that. To that end, I saw to it that the only courtship I had was with my books, few friends and Jesus...lol... 'I know I'm married to Jesus Satan leave me alone'. All of these seemed easier to carry on because i was quite young and marriage isn't a priority your parents demand of at that time.

 Fast forward to after youth service and returning home. It started like a joke, ' when are you getting married?' Then it graduated to a daily reality from parents, friends and well wishers. Ahhh... the crown of it was when i started buying aso ebi for Secondary School friends. My mother never ceased to emphasize that they are my mates. Marriage had left Social studies book and the altar to become my present hour reality. I wasn't envious of my friends getting married but that abstract word was beginning to take a real form in my very eyes.

 Maturity helped me realize marriage to the right person isn't a cage per se but it didn't help to eliminate the fear that comes with the thought of marriage. I do want to get married now but i don't want to do it for the wrong reasons. I don't want to get married to escape the pressures at home, neither do i want to do so because all my friends are getting married and I'm scared of losing out on the trend. I don't want to get married because im scared of ending up alone nor do i want to do it so society doesn't call me a failure.

 Eccl 4: 9-12 TLB "Two can accomplish more than twice as much as one, for the results can be better vs 10 if one falls, the other pulls him up; but if a man falls when he is alone, he is in trouble". I've prided myself in being independent but that's mainly out of insecurity. Fear that if i open up i will get hurt. But the word of God has groomed me these past  years, letting me know that if i walk by the Spirit my testimony will be from glory to glory. So for this course I'm finally going to answer the question: why do i really wanna get married?

 As stated in Eccl 4: 9 I don't only want to accomplish but i want to do so tremendously. What better partner to embark on this feat than a soul mate ordained by God. As vs 10 explained, i know i might falter every once in a while in this journey called life but i know with the right person i will find solace, love and comfort to pull me back up. Vs 11 also - on a cold night, two under the same blanket gain warmth from each other, but how can one be warm alone?" Trust me, I have had enough of the cold  nights. I do not want the warmth that comes with sin and guilt so I'm patiently ticking with the clock for my cold night partner to arrive.

 Lastly as advised by Paul and Jesus, if you do not have the grace to withhold sin then do the available. It was easier to think i had the grace when i was much younger but growing up amidst many mistakes and shortcomings i think i will advice myself to listen to words of wisdom. I am still walking through the fear of marriage but now i have better reasons to overcome it.

Thanks a lot Chichi for making me finally answer this question to myself. All of the times I have meditated on it, this is the first time I am answering it.

Thanks again.

Omore.