WK 5 DAY 1 SELF DEVELOPMENT ....

I have had an amazing time in the last 4 weeks just reading and learning greatly from the stories of singles to singles, straight from the heart. Just as a reminder I felt lead to do a 7-8 week series on singles. This was inspired mainly by the fact that most people fail to realize (until much later...when its rather late) that the foundation of marriage is not formed on the wedding day but on everyday of your single life. So what you see in marriage is simply a harvest of your "hardwork" as a single. Hence the need to be deliberate about your single life. The series is intended to draw our attention to some major grey areas we all fail to pay attention to.

By way of recap, WK 1 started with an introductory piece from seven writers on things they wished they had done differently in their relationships. WK 2,3,4 were on Handling marriage pressures, Defining Success for yourself and Singles and other relationships, respectively. Kindly check the previous posts and catch up😉.

Please don't miss this weeks post for any reason. Wk 5 is on Singles, personal/career development. This week's topic is particularly important to me and you'll see why at the end of the week.

Happy reading!

So far, I had been feeling pretty cool with myself like okay, I am actually not saying what I’m not doing. But with this topic came a very direct and personal conviction, because while I know the importance of what I am writing, and really, I do invest in self-development, I’m guilty of the lack of balance….you’ll see that shortly.

Okay, I know these series are mainly for singles, but let me say, that self-development is necessary for everyone; married, single, complicated (whatever this means) or confused (in fact, especially for you, darling confused). However, since we are focusing on the singles in the series, I’ll point out one reason this is specifically important for you: YOU HAVE THE TIME!

We’re talking about self-development as per career and personal, let me also add moral and spiritual; in fact all round development. Why is it important? Picture this, if you may: a very pretty young lady walks into the room, stunning, head turning and all that. Hair did (yea, that’s how it’s said now), make up fleeking, outfit on point like a decimal! And then she opens her mouth to speak, and sweet Lawd, not one sentence is properly constructed, nor does any of them make an iota of sense…just imagine your immediate thoughts…exactly!

Anyways, I could drop my pen now and hope you get the idea, but I will go further with something that happened to me. Remember in one of my posts (the one on Success; if you haven’t read it, please do), I talked about how I made a first class from school; what I did not say was how rich my CV was once I was done with school: 1^st class, 2’1 law school, award from law school, competitions, internships, professional exams and what not. And then last year I went through my CV and it hit me: I WAS RIDING ON PAST GLORY! If I presented my CV last year, any sensible employer would ask, so, did you die after 2014? Because it seemed I just stopped ‘achieving’. Honestly, I got lazy and laid back. Also, (and this is where I mentioned how I am still trying to balance balance), I got more involved and interested in growing my ministry, I left my career and intellectual life behind. 

I have talked about me, but why is it important? Because the world is evolving and growing and YOU WILL BE LEFT BEHIND IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BRING TO THE TABLE! There are very few things more annoying than a pretty air head….remember our fleeking lady up there? You develop yourself for yourself, it helps you achieve your goals, it gives you the respect so many women are fighting for (when they should be reading for), it helps you become an asset in your marriage, rather than a liability. You know what else, the world is becoming more competitive; more and more is needed every day to stand out. Not to talk about self-development spiritually…..well, you know why, don’t you? 

How do you develop yourself? First is READ GOOD BOOKS! This is so important. Attend seminars that will build you in different areas, keep intelligent friends whose conversations spur and challenge you. Is it cheap to do? No!!!!!! But it’s worth it; you are worth investing in.

Finally, why is this important for singles? Because you have the time now. Very soon, you won’t be able to up and leave for a seminar that will last a month without thinking of how your husband (and kids) will cope, for example. You simply won’t have as much time to yourself then as you do now that you’re single.

So, darlings (me, inclusive), we need to invest in building ALL AREAS of our lives. I always say this, but I’ll say it again; BALANCE IS KEY!

…BOLOGI