I TOLD ME SO…..

So, the memo I got was to tell you a little something about something that happened to me for which I was forewarned but didn’t listen. But, first, introduction…..Hi, I will be sharing a part of my life and lessons with you weekly for the next..errr….7 weeks or so. My darling friend realized that I’m such a great writer, and she should have me here… I play too much though, let me get serious for a few minutes….

 

Once I thought about what I was to share on this, the first particular lesson that came to mind was something I warned me about, not something people warned me about. And I think this was so because at the time, I didn’t have a lot of Godly people around me, but that’s gist for another time. And also, because God had just started dealing with me and I was beginning to respond, slowly; so what I say I warned me about, God actually did the warning.

 

I had been in an on-and-off relationship for about 2 years 8 months (post official break-up, that is), and we were about to begin another ‘on’ session, which looked like it was going to be more serious, seeing as we were both done with university, at the time. Things were going well emotionally but I had a struggle. Remember I had said that this was when God had started dealing with me personally, or shall I say, this was when I was receiving Grace to respond to Him. And this my Boo at the time, was nowhere around this junction I was. Let me pause and say at this point, that what is really important in looking out for spirituality in a spouse is not so much of the hours spent praying and ‘kabashing’ at the time, but the person’s hunger and quest for God and for growth….back to me and ‘Boo’. Boo was not in the place but I would intentionally try and initiate ‘Christian’ conversation, say I was going to one fellowship or the other and all of that. Gradually, he said he would go with me, once, twice, three times…..but it never went beyond that.

 

If I am truthful to myself, in retrospect, I would admit that I knew in my spirit that this would not work. But, three things: I was not sensitive to the Spirit enough and was scared; it was hard to pull away from someone that knew the most of me the past 4 years or thereabout; plus, I’m not even gonna lie to you, this Boo be fiiiinneee and we did look really good together (talk about superficial reasons. Lol). So, needless to say, I had no peace. I wanted to know that he was wanting to grow for real and not just playing the part and going because I was going….I knew the truth but it was hard to let go. So, against what I knew to do, I kept at it, waiting for a magic-wand-change, which never happened. Of course, all this while, feelings and emotions kept increasing and it was getting even harder to detach.

 

But after all the hide and seek, I made a decision to really know what the truth was (stupid, right? Cause, I really already knew). I will spare you the long details of this, but long and short, I came to hard and heart breaking realization that this new ‘dedication’ was barely skin deep. He wasn’t ‘ready’, and my staying there would only stagnate my growth. Lord, I went through heartbreak again; this time, heartbreak I could have prevented and started recovering from, and it was haaarrrddddd!

This could have been prevented. The pain and hurt I went through; the process of detaching myself all over again, all because I failed to listen to the truth I knew deep down, and my lack of peace.
 

Yours may not come just like mine, it could be through external Godly counsel, the witness of your spirit, convictions, lack of peace and several other means. I will tell you, from my experience, it will pay you to listen. That relationship you feel you cannot do without now, best realize that you can, and if you listen and do the needful now, you will begin your healing process, and you will be the better for it. Trust me on this!

BOLOGI
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