HANDLING MARRIAGE PRESSURE

Honestly, I wouldn’t count myself to have faced any significant marriage pressures from family members. Jokingly, the pressure is more from friends and few extended family members (and it has not been overwhelming really). Albeit, I am not naïve to the fact that people do face marriage pressures, this is experienced by both men and women alike. And definitely, it can emanate into desperation, frustration and their other brothers.

Hence, I could say that my limited exposure to such pressures is funded by family’s awareness of my aspirations. In other words, they are in the know of what I would like to achieve per 'season'. Also, we often chat about my boo and our goals, I guess that has mitigated the pressure.

As such, I wouldn’t be wrong to suggest that involvement of one’s family members with one's aspirations is a good way to get-by the marriage pressures. Although, some might not reason along, but it should surely lessen the pressures.  Likewise, it could be as simple as informing them of one's limited preparation for marriage and its demands. Or perhaps, discuss the lingering issues around the fact that a boo/bae is not forthcoming. I believe information can go a long way. And it gives room for counseling and advice rather than pressures.

On another hand, it is commented that being idle makes the pressures to thrive. Most often, when the pressure messages are sent, it is by giving it a second thought that registers the message in our hearts and informs our decision making. Therefore, I would say one should get busy adding value to one’s life, pursuing one's dreams and aspirations, position one’s self in such a way that would attract a potential suitor. In summary, we should familiarize ourselves with the verses of Proverbs 31. Aside from the fact that it is often preached about, it is highly necessary.

Also, it is suggested that relocation at times could be a way out of marriage pressures. That is, moving away from the environment or the things that instigate such pressures.

Likewise, I find it interesting that some ladies/men are the ones pressurizing themselves. Perhaps by virtue of their friends being married or too much watching of Nollywood movies... Lol As an example, I never gave a thought to getting married until a hand full of my friends started getting married. But that was not an excuse to pressurize myself into marriage in any way. This circumstance is a bit trickier based on the fact that one is the author of his/her pressure.  Thus, I feel learning from the horrible testimonies of those that married based on the pressures they experienced would be of significance.

Therefore, the key message really is that being married does not in itself give fulfillment in life.  So I think it is best to have a mind-set of getting involved in things that add value to one’s life,  then marriage can be introduced.

Ifeoluwa K